Link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOImyOGN9UEHere's the script if you'd prefer to just read:In this video I’m going to teach you the best lessons from the book the subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson. I’ll show you how to become more confident, how to have more purpose in your life plus you’ll learn the quickest route to happiness.But before we get into all that I want you to imagine something.Imagine you’re 90 years old and on your deathbed, your grandson walks in, he’s 21 and asks for your advice about what he should do with his life, what he should care about and what doesn’t really matter in the end. What would you tell him?You might say things like:“Go for your dreams you only get one life.”“Don’t worry as much”“Enjoy the small things”If you take some time to think and decide what you would say this gives you a real insight into what you actually care about. Take your own advice.In this video we will go through 5 lessons to help you feel more confident. This example leads onto the first lesson from the book.1. We all die anyway.Most people do not like thinking about their own death but I think it is a useful thing to do.Another great book is The 7 habits of highly effective people and one of the habits is to begin with the end in mind. Think about your own death and it really puts things into perspective.One day all the things that you worry about will no longer exist, nobody alive will care so why are you letting it bother you now? Why are you letting it hold you back?If you have a hard decision to make just ask yourself how you’d feel on your deathbed about each of the choices, would you regret not going for the more exciting choice?Mark Twain said: “a man who lives fully is prepared to die at anytime.”KT: So use the thought of your own death to drive you forward. Dont put things off and to stay at a job you hate or in a relationship that is bad for you.2. It’s not about not giving a fuck, it’s about choosing what to give a fuck about.The author says maturity is giving a fuck about things that are fuckworthy.Most people are afraid of rejection, for our survival we naturally want to fit in.So in any situation we try to avoid all pain of rejection or someone saying we are wrong, the thing is you will never avoid all pain of rejection.What you should do is decide what pain you actually want to go through choose what you want to suffer for.Before starting this youtube channel I thought about the fact that people might mock mebut for me the pain of someone laughing at me is miniscule compared to the pain of regret I would have felt if I never went for it.I would have always been thinking what if.I am so passionate about helping others that being mocked for doing what I do doesn’t bother me at all.KT: so, Give a fuck about things that are fuckworthy.3. Failure and criticisms are good.Imagine a sales firm.Their aim is to make a many sales a possible.If you said to all the staff that rather than aiming to get as many sales as possible they should instead aim to get the most rejections. This is a concept called go for no where you aim for noes rather than yeses.What happens is the person who gets the most number of noes is nearly always the person who also gets the most amount of sales.This is because they are no longer limited by their fear of rejection.Thomas J. Watson who served as chairman and CEO of IBM said “If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate”Stop trying to avoid criticisms and failures. You will always have people who want to be negative about what you’re doing. That’s actually great, it means you’re putting yourself out there.Remember people usually only criticise people who they feel are above them, they think by doing so they will be able will bring you down to their level.I think of the people who I look up to and ask myself if they would criticise or mock me for doing what I am doing and obviously they wouldn’t. They are more than likely say what I’m doing is great and encourage me to keep going.An opinion is the cheapest thing anyone can give you, the value comes in deciding who’s opinion you’re going to listen to.so,KT: go for no’s and be grateful for each one, they are helping you towards the result you want and show you’re putting yourself out there.4. Happiness and confidence comes from caring about something greater than yourself.Here’s a great lyric by the rapper Mack-le-more which is based on a Banksy quote“I heard you die twice, once when they bury you in the grave and the second time is the last time that somebody mentions your name. So when I leave here on this earth, did I take more than I gave, did I look out for the people or did I do it all for fame?”What is he on about then?He’s saying that you will only be remembered if you do something great with your life. By doing something great for humanity you will be immortal because people will talk about you well after your death.So a quick question, are you living your purpose? It’s a difficult question to answer but a great one to think about.As we said before we all die anyway, the only people who actually get remember are the people who did something that was bigger than themselves.It’s pretty overwhelming to think about your life purpose but a great place to start is to begin on a small scale helping people.Just do something for someone else.It can be something simple like baking a cake or taking them out somewhere or even just paying them a genuine complimentSearch a website called one kindness .org. They explain the power of doing just one act of kindness per day - it’s an interesting read.On a bigger scale you can use your life to build something huge to help others and make a change.Bill Gates said “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”Start thinking bigger, think outside yourself.One of my life aims is to completely change the education system so it will teach people more about happiness.I’m not sure exactly how I will do this yet but that is why it’s such a fun aim to have. Aim huge.If you’re not sure where to begin search round my channel or other self improvement channels and begin working towards something you’re truly proud of.If you’re working towards something for other people you almost don’t have time to worry.When you do this you will become much happier because true happiness comes from helping others.A great side effect of this is that you will feel much more confident, when you have a true purpose you’re working towards you won’t be stopped by small things anymore. A great quote from the book man’s search for meaning says “Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.”So if your why is to change the world you aren’t going to stopped by someone mocking you because changing the world is simply way more important.KT: so, work towards something bigger than yourself and you will be much happier and feel more confident.Lesson 5. You choose who is in your life.When I was a school I really did care about fitting in and trying to impress pretty much everyone. I always looked outside myself for approval and confirmation that I was good enough.What a load of bullshit. It’s funny to me that almost all the people who I was so bothered about impressing are actually no longer part of my life, I don’t ever see or talk to them.It’s easy to forget how much control you actually have over your life.You have full control over people who play a role in your life.So be who you want to be and the people who truly like you will stick around and anyone else you can just choose not to see them.There’s nothing wrong with people not liking you, stop getting caught up on what everyone thinks about you. The more important thing to think about is what the people you actually like think about you and what you think about yourself.Here’s a good question.“From your perspective what is the difference between someone who you no longer see anymore and someone who is dead?”Odd question but bear with me.Each has no input on your life and you have 0 interactions.IT’s a pretty odd way of looking at it but you basically have the power to kill off characters you do not like in your life.so, rethink the way you see your world, be confident and be yourself because the only people that will be in your life long term are the people who like you anyway.So to summarise:1. We all die anyway so go for it.2. Give a fuck about things that are fuckworthy.3. Failure and criticisms are good things, aim for them.4. work towards something bigger than yourself and you will be much happier and feel more confident.5. You choose who is in your life, be yourself, the people who don’t like you wont be part of your life anyway. see hubwealthy.com/wealthy
