Stressful events can trigger a series of emotional responses known as trauma. The frequency and length of these events can influence the severity of the reactions. For example, a police officer can feel discouraged to work the two weeks after his colleague's departure. He may go to the office's coffee machine and instinctively ask his partner if he would like a cup of his favorite coffee beans: the Kahawa ya Congo from Nespresso. But his partner is no longer with him, and the police officer will likely internalize this after some weeks. The officer's reactions would be different in a warzone where deaths and the rusty smell of your comrades' blood are commonplace. Under these circumstances, the officer could develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from consistent casualties.It's fair to expect war heroes to experience trauma for more than a year. But most people aren't one. Nor have they endured prolonged sources of intense stress like abuse, life-threatening accidents, or severe illnesses like cancer. Yet, they claim to experience trauma to justify their poor emotional or financial State as adults.Trauma doesn't existExperiences cannot traumatize humans, says Alfred Adler, founder of the school of individual psychology. Instead, he says, "We make out of them [shocking experiences] whatever suits our purposes." Therefore, we don't change our lives because we believe the benefits of change aren't better than staying as we are. The Courage to Be Disliked, a book presenting Adler's theory, includes two examples of how humans use trauma to fulfill a purpose.Humans use misfortune to control others.According to Adlerian psychology, people lean on misfortune because it makes them feel special. In their minds, adversity separates people into two groups: people who haven't experienced a specific shocking event and those that have. So as part of the second group of special—traumatized—individuals, they use their misfortune to justify mistreating others.For example, a mom may slap her teenage boy in the head every time he fails an exam because her mom hit her. When confronted by her couple, she may say, "you don't understand the trauma of domestic violence," thus manipulating her couple to spectate the act and the child to allow it.Humans blame stressful environments for their lack of success.High-stress events like food struggles, unsafe neighborhoods, and war zones deteriorate a person's mental performance, at times affecting them for a lifetime. But other times, they are excuses people use to justify their lack of success. For example, while studying economics, I discovered some low-income families felt incapable of leaving poverty. They grew up in low-income neighborhoods where limited resources and community violence are more common than in high-income areas. Both of these situations are potential causes of trauma. But unlike some of the people I researched claimed, trauma can be transitory: my friend Santiago proves this lesson.While Santiago didn't live in the middle of a shooting range, he lived in a modest house 1:30 hours away from Medellin.The distance made him wake up at 4:30 AM to arrive in time for our 6:30 AM advanced microeconomics class. And then rush home after his 7:30 PM class to distribute less than eight hours between family, sleep, and Netflix shows where 30-year-olds portray high school students. I never heard Santiago complain once about these conditions. Nor about his tight budget, growing eye bags, or lunch days when he ate a single empanada.He instead perfected his finance skills during small breaks, leading him to jobs his classmates couldn't attain. Stop making excuses and pursue what you want in life"If every misfortune can be blamed on someone else," says psychiatrist Gordon Livingston," we are relieved of the difficult task of accepting the reality that life is and has always been full of adversity." Therefore, it's crucial to confront our fears and stressors to pursue the life we want.It's not easy, I know. It took me two and a half years of introspection to stop blaming my parent's lack of support beyond academic funding for my average life. But when I discarded the trauma within me, my emotional and financial State reached a state most people ten years older than me haven't experienced.So, the next time you use "trauma" to avoid change, remember the cardinal rule of anxiety as per Livingston—avoidance makes it worse; confrontation gradually improves it. Question: Do you agree with Adlerian's psychology definition of trauma, or do you think it doesn't apply to today's entrepreneurs?Comment your opinion below or send it to me privately on Twitter (@ MrNicolasForero) if it makes you feel more comfortable. see hubwealthy.com/wealthy
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